(Source: mylifeasastickperson)
(Source: gifmovie)
(Source: holyfriend)
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
-Ashley Smith
(by annwood)
The Fault In Our Stars - John Green
(via thatquote)
Before I begin, I want to make it clear that having children was never something that I just presumed I would do at some time in my life. I was adamant for many years that I did not want children. Over time, my perspective on life changed. Through a very scary set of circumstances, I learnt that my priorities in life had to change. It was after this, and much consideration, that I decided that I would have children one day.
Its a few years on now, and I feel like I am at the point where emotionally and mentally, I am ready for a baby. In our relationship, we are absolutely ready. Financially, we are not where I thought we would be, but we are by no means struggling with money.
In coming to this decision, I have spoken with my family and friends a lot. And you know, it is amazing how the reaction of many of them is ‘are you guys actually ready for this?’ or ‘can you guys afford that?’ or ‘what about your job and your career?’.
I find these answers to be really quite distressing. First, money should never be a priority. Please don’t misinterpret that as negligence: in my field of work, I have become more than aware of the consequences of poor financial management when having a child. But like I said, we are by no means disadvantaged financially. He is an accountant, I am a lawyer (for now). We are not rich, but we are certainly quite comfortable. We don’t own a home or have a mortgage, and right now we are okay with that.
But here is the really interesting part. I have of late decided that being a lawyer does not work very well with my life goals. I have been contemplating going back and studying. In discussing this with the same family and friends, no one has ever asked me about our financial position or whether or not we, as a couple, can handle the change in lifestyle. No one has ever questioned whether or not it was a good decision. No one has ever looked at the decision as detrimental one to my life as a whole.
It made me think about when I started law school. I had to study for five years to become a lawyer. Full time. And I was absolutely miserable. Not once in that time did anybody question the extreme level of debt that I had to enter into to complete those studies. Not once did any one question whether or not that was the right choice for me as a person. Not once did any one question all of the life experiences that I had to put off or forego completely in order to complete my studies. I had to work a minimum of two jobs. I worked as an intern for free for months at a time. I experienced severe mental health issues as a result of the strain. No one ever said to me ‘do you think this is right for you?’.
It is so sad to me that it is completely acceptable for me to go through financial ruin, and endanger my life for something that, at the end of the day, I’m not even sure I ever actually wanted. It was something, and continues to be something, that is a constant source of anxiety to me. It is something that makes me unhappy. It is something that brings me very little joy. But to everyone else, that is okay. That is acceptable by our social standards today.
However, the moment that I abandon that structure, and choose to do something that I actually want, something that I genuinely feel will bring me happiness and make me feel as though I have achieved something, that is questioned. It is deemed an irrational decision. It is deemed as a mistake, and one that will surely ruin my life.
This world is just so confusing.
